These are my stories.
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“An inside Job”
For the past few months, I’ve been slacking in my Christian walk, now you might be thinking to yourself, slacking?, where did that come from?, well, it was birthed from the forming of dry bones in my Christianity.
I was spiritually dead, I felt weak, drained and out of touch with God, I became cynical, and in turn I started doubting if I was a genuine Christian.
I had become complacent, familiar, I just wasn’t the same man anymore, I started making excuses for not doing simple things like reading my bible, praying and witnessing, I wondered what could be the reason, I just couldn’t figure out why I was like this.
My vision started to become blurred, I was making decisions in my life that weren’t in line with God’s word, all of this was happening to me, but I could not put my finger on what the problem was.
I started getting frustrated at God, my heart was slowly becoming tainted, I wasn’t writing as many songs, I lost my desire for revelation from God’s word, I felt like I had lost inspiration and motivation as well.
But by the Grace of God, I had an epiphany, thanks to a life changing conversation with a very dear friend of mine.
He was my former youth leader and is now currently a pastor, in this conversation I told him a few of my struggles, and he told me the reason why I and probably others were struggling so much is because we lack a personal revelation with God.
When he said that, I went silent, he began to challenge me about my devotion, was I seeking God, was I being filled with God, was I desperate for him, and right there I realised my flesh was causing me to believe my issues were the reason I neglected God.
I thought because of what I was going through, that was reason I couldn’t pray, read my bible, witness and want to know God more.
“Personal revelation is not freedom from the storm, it’s about having perfect peace in the midst of the storm.”
It wasn’t a five step plan, or laying of the hands by a preacher that I needed, it was simply more of God, I had to let God revive my dry bones, I had allowed my revelation of God to become stale, but that day he opened my eyes.
God has never changed, he hasn’t stopped listening to my prayers, it was me, I was convinced that once I dealt with my issues, then I would want to know God more, this was a lie, and it caused to move further away from God.
“Don’t let the troubles of life, shape your view of God.”
In the midst of what I was going through, I needed to get more of God then ever before,
“As long as God remains on the throne of our lives, there is no need for us to worry or panic about our situations.”
My love for God is not based on what he does or what gives to me, nor is it based on my talents, abilities or accolades, my love is solely based, on loving God for who he is.
God, you are my God, and I thank you that you never change, help me to trust you with every aspect of my life, to remain faithful in my devotion, because my devotion is to you alone.
Daniel (db)
Where did you go?
God has never and will never, leave nor forsake us, but sometimes we believe this was put in the bible to fill out paper, we tend to forget that not only is the bible filled with Godly declarations, it’s also filled with Godly promises.
God has placed things in the bible for us to claim, think of it like this, God went to the store (calvary), saw what he wanted (humanity), made a decision to purchase it and went to the checkout to pay for it (the cross) took out his wallet (Jesus Christ) and pulled out his credit card to complete the transaction (His Blood).
He did it for us, all of God’s promises are authenticated, because of the power of the cross, if the master of the world could come all the way from heaven, down to earth to pay such a hefty price for us, when we surely did not deserve it, then his words and the things he has written are sure to be true.
“God did not send his only son, to tell mankind lies and fairy tales, he sent him to set the captive free, with truth.”
“God went so far, to draw us close.”
But to be honest, my prayer life and my level of faith doesn’t reflect this truth, knowing all of this, I still don’t trust God with my everything, and so because of this I end up leaving my place of communion with God.
“What a privilege and a honour it is to know, that the Almighty God just wants to meet with you.”
I’m busy, i’m late for work, I haven’t got the time, I’ll speak to you later God, this is what we say and do every time we neglect our devotion unto God.
“The question isn’t, where did God go?, the question is where did we go?”
This has nothing to do with God judging us, or loving us less, its about this, if we truly love God as much as we speak, sing, rap and dance about, then why can’t we just give him our all.
“Our devotion is such a tiny offering, compared to Calvary, but nevertheless we should lay it at the father’s feet.”
I get so vex with myself, because i’m so easily distracted, phone calls, text messages, whatever it may be, it’s nowhere near more important then my time with God, then suddenly this idea dawned on me, I had to take the iPhone approach.
“The iPhone Approach”
I turn my iPhone on for a particular task (devotion), but I get caught up in doing too many things at once, now all these applications are open and running (distractions), but now my phone is running slow, it’s doing things it wouldn’t normally do, it has began to malfunction (life), so what’s the solution?, shut down all my applications and focus on one thing at a time (Seeking God).
This means our time and our attention, has to truly been given over to God, lay it aside, just for a moment, and give God your undivided attention.
A perfect example is when I play temple run, (iPhone only, sorry lol), I refuse to answer tweets, texts and even calls, why?, because it takes concentration and discipline, to complete my mission, everything else makes the task harder and even longer to complete.
Now i’m applying this very same approach to my life, because I’ve had enough, of not taking the wonderful opportunity I’ve been given, to get to know God the father more intimately.
“I not only want to know you more, I need to know your more, because your place is where I find safety and refuge.”
God, i’m so sorry for leaving your presence, thinking I could live this life on my own power an strength, I need you daily, every hour I need thee.
Daniel (db)
“The Invisible Builder”
I have faced ups, down, highs and lows, I’ve faced battles that have brought me to the edge, trials that have tested my faith and belief in God.
These battles staggered, wavered and weakened me, and for a long time I used to think to myself, why am I facing this?, if i’m saved, why should I have to fight like this?, it was one of those things to me I just could not understand.
Now some may say my thinking a little naive, but the truth is I was in need, like a child longing for the attention of his father, I had questions that only God could answer.
This life and it’s baggage can not only put a weight of doubt upon you, but it can also cause you to challenge whether God is real, challenge not only his sovereignty, but his love also.
But I got a revelation, It took me a long time to grasp it, but over time, it slowly began to make sense to me, I had to understand that all the things that I have gone through, and all the things I am due to face are apart of God’s blueprint for my building.
“God uses temporal trials in this life to prepare for eternal glory in the next life.”
From before we were born God has always been the master builder of our entire existence, his desire is to make us the perfect building, but this is a long term project, not a overnight job.
That was my problem, I didn’t want struggles, what I really wanted was “smooth sailing Christianity”, I despised my trials so much I began to doubt God.
“Doubt causes a man, to see faith as a far fetched reality.”
I thought to myself if God really loved me why would he let me go through all of this, but that was far from the truth, then like a hurricane it came in, I realised that these things are for the making of me, but not only that, God opened my blind eyes to realise that Jesus feels what I feel, he cries when I cry, he has not only suffered like me, but also suffered for me, and yet he will never leave nor forsake me.
God is the invisible builder, he uses the things we go through to perfect us, and though we may not see God In the physical, he is working in realms the flesh can not understand.
“For us to reach the Golden shores of eternity, we have to sail and conquer the storms of life.”
I had to let go and let God take control of my life, we have to let him place every stone, and lay every brick, it was one of the hardest I did, because I believed I ran things, I believed I knew the outcome of everything, I tried to build my own life, but now I have given it all over to Jesus.
“God has to be the master builder and designer of our lives, because his craftsmanship is perfect.”
But I thank God that I don’t build it, he does, “I don’t have to worry or be afraid, because who I am, is in the hands of the one who created the sun, moon and stars.
God, I surrender my whole life to you, take it and do what you will, break, build, restore and renew my life so I can be changed into the image of the lamb.
Daniel (db)
“Dad, Your My Hero”
September 17th 2011, is a date that will be engraved in our family’s hearts forever, a day our hero went to be with Jesus.
My dad, Joel Adewole Oluwatobi, had passed away.
I had just got home from a meal with my wife, life for me at that period was great, things we’re going so well for me, I was happy, then God brought a hurricane my way.
It literally turned my whole world upside down, I had never experienced death in my life before, so this was a real shock to me, especially it being my father.
My mother broke the news to me over the phone, as soon as I saw her name come up on my phone, my heart started beating, it’s almost like I knew it was coming.
To give you a bit of history, my father had battled with over four strokes, cancer and even dementia, but my dad was a warrior, through even single one of those battles, he fought to live.
Let me continue, immediately I heard the news, I went completely silent, then I broke down in tears, I was weeping uncontrollably, I was ripped apart inside.
As time went on, it got harder, but I received tremendous support from my church, they are my family as well, and I couldn’t have made it through without them and my wife who was their every step of the way.
But the one who truly brought me through this pain, and was by my side even in the darkest times, was my king, Jesus Christ, he helped me face the battles, he was their with me in the secret place.
The times when I was by myself, crying, shouting, and even complaining at God, he stayed and never let me go. I can’t forget what Jesus did for me, much more than just emotional comfort, he gave me a perfect peace.
My dad was so special to me, and it hurts me that I didn’t show that more while he was alive, but I will see him again, in the glory we will meet.
Days before he passed away, he called my mother to his side, and said these words, “give me the cross, I’m ready for the cross”
When my mum told me that. I started rejoicing, because my father is with Jesus today.
And that to me is the most important thing.
So to everyone who has lost a loved one, know this, God is with you, I don’t say that as a cliche, I say it out of experiencing the comfort of a wonderful God.
Daniel (db)
(we wrote a song for my father, which we sang on the day of his funeral, you can listen to it here, it’s entitled “My Hero”.)
Listen and watch his tribute video here.
www.youtu.be/lU6n8KiCSso
Photo with 5 notes
“We Do, But Do They?”
There are a lot of people, who walk this earth, without really knowing the Real Jesus, for some, the only Jesus they know or see is us.
Ive been a Christian for almost seven years, but I still feel so inadequate, when it comes to telling people about Jesus.
I’m fearful of either rejection or offence, which has a effect on what I say and who I decide to say it to, it’s so frustrating for me, because as a Christian, this is the reason i’m still alive, to tell people the good news.
It hurts me so much, because there are so many opportunities that come my way, and I honestly don’t seize them as much as I know u should.
And I’m sure I’m not the only one.
We go to work, school, college, university, but do we ever stop to think, how many of these people that I pass daily, really know Jesus, and if we do stop and think, what are doing about it.
We need God to redefine our priorities, that the daily war between heaven and hell, be important to us again, their is a fight for our families and friends, and we can a make the difference to who wins their affection.
I’m not trying to reiterate what a lot of us already know, Im asking God to awaken a passion inside our lives that has been quenched because of the busyness of life.
That Lord you will open my eyes to see those that are desperate, that my heartbeat will be souls, and that I’ll live showing men and woman the cross.
The world needs the Gospel, and the only way they’ll get it, is us.
Daniel(db)
“Keep the Fire Burning”
I finally got round to listening to Parachute Band’s new album, there are two songs that really stuck out to me, promises and Keep the fire burning, you can probably see where this blog post is going.
My fire has been low of recent, if I’m being totally honest, I haven’t felt as cutting edge, a I would like to, and I know we don’t live by feelings, but that doesn’t mean ignore them.
The mistake I’ve made is trying to work for the fire, being busy for the kingdom purpose, without being passionate about the kingdom purpose.
But Keep fire burning reminded me of my “First Days”, when I used to love witnessing, fellowshipping, studying the word of God, and being proud that I’m a Christian.
Last week Friday I was teaching a study on the Church as the Lord’s building, now your probably thinking to yourselves, what does that have to do with keeping the fire burning, exactly, it didn’t, but it so happened that my group managed to bring a connection between the two.
That the Lord’s building, the church, is being built for a divine purpose, it’s much more then getting up in the morning and going to your 9-5, where a boss couldn’t care less about your personal life, lol, or where you get paid peanuts to work your socks off (I’m honestly not venting by the way:)
But it’s about giving your all to the greatest boss, you could ever ask for, who won’t sack you for making mistakes, or puts you down because of how you talk or how you look.
Let me balance this, we are not working for our salvation or to get into God’s good books, Jesus did that at the cross, it’s about keeping the fire, which was obtained the day we truly received Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.
So I started praying God, let me bear your heart, your heart that is for your kingdom, that as the deer pants for the water brook, so my soul longs for you and all the things that are important to you.
Because not only are we kingdom builders, building upon our firm foundation, our cornerstone, which is Christ, but we are also lively stones, being built on Christ.
God, keep the fire burning in me, that i remember that all i’m doing is ultimately for you, for you to get all the glory, Lord help me not to become stale, but breathe life into my dry bones.
Remind me daily, that it is a privilege to be a servant of your mission, it’s not a burden, but an honour to bear the name of my saviour on the earth.
Daniel(db)
“can anybody hear me?”
One of the biggest things I struggled with and sometimes still do, is insecurity.
When I was younger, especially during my teenage years, I was mocked for how I looked, I was called some vile things, just because I was different, it was horrible, and what was even more sad, a lot of the abuse came from my “friends”.
It was hard for me growing up, my education wasn’t great, I had problems upon problems at home, and then had to deal with constant stares and whispers from total strangers, I felt like a outcast, like I was an alien, I wished at times I was never born, and I even contemplated suicide.
Why I am telling you this, because some of us in one way or another have gone through the same thing, maybe you didn’t battle in the way I did, but you found it hard to be yourself.
And you know what’s so deep about this struggle, it takes place on the inside, I didn’t tell anyone at the time, because I felt no one cared, and I thought no one struggled like I did.
I eventually got saved, and i thought yes, all my problems will go away, nope, it just got worse.
I would hate myself and be angry at God for making me this way, I’d tell myself I would never get married, and believe it was my destiny to be alone.
Then I started searching for satisfaction from people, using my talents and abilities, this meant pleasing man and trying to get their attention.
I longed for people to praise me and message my ego, but I also wanted the glory so I wouldn’t have to deal with my insecurity, but God had different a plan.
Two years into my salvation, and i’m still fighting this inner battle, putting myself down, believing the lies of the enemy that I’m worthless.
But God broke me, in a way I did not expect, a visiting preacher by the name of Joe Campbell came to minister to our congregation, he was preaching on insecurity, I’ve heard sermons about it before, but not like this.
Its almost like he was talking directly at me, I started to weep during the sermon, I went to the toilet and wiped my tears, I started telling myself, I’m being silly, get over it, but as soon as I walked out, the tears rushed back, as I heard him preach.
He started dealing with my issues, it felt like this was the first time I heard that God loves me, insecurities are like a virus, slowly killing you on the inside, but the cure is the love of Jesus Christ, he exposed my self glorification, and opened my eyes to see my true state.
I realised I’m not here for the attention of man, or to live my whole life, just for their approval, I’m here for God, that all I do, wether its singing, rapping, teaching, witnessing or even studying, everything i do is for God alone.
I was weeping for the rest of the sermon, I was undone, I finally realised that all Jesus wanted to be was my security.
That when I don’t get no love from the world, when i’m rejected because of my physical appearance or my background, I cling to God, who loves me like no other, who cares for me, who says I’m the apple of his eye.
I felt a release for the first time in my life, I started thanking God for my life, I changed how I spoke about myself, and learned to be content with who God made me to be.
God, I can’t thank you enough for what you did for me that day, it’s a testimony of your love for me, it wasn’t just to break me but to fix me.
You were there for me, and you always will be.
Daniel (db)
“The Cry of the broken”
Our words have the power to make or break a human being, our tongue is the sharpest tool at our disposal, it can either poison or revive.
And as some you may know there are people our there, who just want to hurt you, bring you down, dispel you, discourage you and kill you with there words.
But what really amazes me is Christians, washed in the blood, brought by a wonderful saviour, changed from darkness to light, filled with a peace, the world longs for, have no idea how there words can affect others.
In my last blog post I spoke about insecurity, and how I was affected by words said to me, one of the things I didn’t mention we’re some of those who were saying these things about me were Christians.
I used to think to myself, why are they saying these things about me?, shouldn’t they be more graceful towards m?, aren’t they supposed to be, you know, nice?
It was a shock to me, that those who walked about with the word of God in there hands, Seemed to have it far from there lips.
Now i’m not here to name or shame a person, group of people, church or organisation, I’m here to slap reality across our faces.
Who do we think we are, going around saying the first thing that runs through our head to people, the bible says be quick to hear and slow to speak, we all need to take time and think, do these words that are about to come out of my mouth, build this person up or just tear them down with no hope.
A lot of us always seem to forget our former days, the mire clay, we were pulled from, the pit we used to live in.
Jesus Christ didn’t save us to hold titles and build our popularity and reputation, he saved us so we could save others, which also means being careful with the individuals God has placed in our lives.
Woe to me, if I should cause and offence or a stumbling block to my brother or sister, wether they are saved or not, they have a heart that can be easily broken, if we are not careful what we say.
I’m not saying this to rail on people’s lack of perfection in this area, I’m pleading with you from the bottom of my heart, to take care of God’s children, maybe it’s a someone from church, your family, your friends, your neighbour, your colleague, your doctor, a police officer, a homeless man or woman, a waiter, a store clerk, whoever it may be, just take consideration to how you talk to them and what you say to them.
I would be so ashamed to lose a soul, because I was angry, because I was annoyed, because I don’t like them, because I think I’m better then then, because I’ve been saved longer, because I come to church more than them, because I haven’t fallen in sin like them, all these excuses are irrelevant when dealing with a precious soul.
Your not there when they are weeping tears, broken and hurt, it’s time we pray God teach me how to be more like you.
The broken are crying, because we are caught up in our revolving world. Can you hear them?
They don’t need our pride and arrogance, they need love and direction to God’s grace and mercy.
Why don’t we be quick to encourage and be in a hurry to build a person and strengthen them.
God, I’m sorry if I’ve forgotten that I was once lost, I was once the hard headed sinner, who wouldn’t listen and rejected the Gospel, but you saved me, heard my cry and healed my broken.
Now I live to be a hearer of “the cry of the broken” and draw them to your side.
Daniel (db)
“The Assignment”
Distractions, have become my stumbling block, for far too long I’ve polluted myself with “people, places and things”, I’ve tried to walk like them, talk like them, be famous like them and even gain status like them.
But God opened my eyes, I realised that my residence here on this earth is not permanent, This place is not my preferred state, I’m here, but for a moment, this means that I should be building myself on Jesus, not the frailties of mankind.
We clothe ourselves with so much mess and pollution, we then begin to think it makes us look good, clothing ourselves with the garments of the world, so we can fit in with the temporary crowd, what has happened is we have become decayed.
We have worked so hard on our outside appearance, we have neglected the heart, we have made “being like them” our main tactic, but have forgotten our purpose is to save them, using God’s tactic, the Gospel.
We have to learn to live our lives facing both ways, that we must do all we can to save the souls or men, but also remember that this is not our home, as christians we get so drenched in the world, that while we are trying to save them, we end up becoming like them, and end up losing our God given identity.
From the beginning of time, we were destined for much greater, God did not save us, so we can now blend in with everybody else, Jesus did not commission us for such a purpose.
“The kingdom of God is the now and the not yet”
He created you to be you, he made and formed each every single one of us so uniquely, I’ve learnt to embrace who I am, that God wants to use me, just the way I am.
This doesn’t mean neglect our character, it means not changing to please the masses, fitting in so I don’t become an outcast, why not just be the man or woman God created you to be, while showing them the love of God.
Heaven needs to invade my mind a whole more, I tend to forget “the glory of the final day”, that wonderful day when I finally see my King, no more tears, no more pain, I’ll see my loved ones who have gone, but best of all I get to be with Jesus.
My saviour who redeemed with his own blood, i’ll be worshipping forever, seeing my king face to face.
This world can keeps its swag, I would rather put on an incorruptible name brand, I’ll proudly wave my saviour’s banner, I’m not ashamed to be who he made me to be.
Thinking of eternity helps me to see temporary things, in a much better light, I don’t need those things, I want those things, because it fuels my flesh and gives me a false identity.
But i’ve been given an inheritance, that is waiting for me in eternity, but I must build who I am, on the Great I Am.
God, I pray forgive me, help to keep heaven not only on my mind, but also in my heart, I have to realise this life is a passing phase, but you are my forever.
Daniel (db)
“Does my heart bear this alone?”
I am just going to be honest on this blog, I am scared, in two weeks I am going in for this operation on my back, I’m trying so hard to put on a brave face, but in the secret place my flesh reveals itself.
What am I scared of you ask? I’m afraid of not waking up, I’m afraid of not seeing my wife again, maybe I won’t be able to walk the same, talk the same, even think the same, fear grips my heart as the day draws near, my thoughts are just filled with doubt, I have become so anxious, and feel such a heavy weight on my heart.
I’m smiling on the outside, but so broken on the inside, this is the first time in my life where I have no answer, I can’t work this one out, neither can I in my mind calculate the outcome, I’ve always thought I understood how everything works, to be totally honest I gave my intelligence way too much credit.
There are times when I’m on bed and I can’t sleep, because I’m constantly thinking about it, it fills my mind so much it’s become painful.
But God, it’s just me and you, my knowledge, talent and ability can’t save me, I need you more than I’ve ever needed you before.
I now understand when Paul said in you I live and move and have my being, my entire existence is dependant on God and God alone.
My heart is so heavy that I can’t carry it any longer, so I’m casting it on you, only you Jesus can bear the weight of my weak state, only you have the power to bring perfect peace to my storm.
Through this fear God I’m forced to trust you, because no one else can help me.
As I lie in that hospital room, I need you to take control, I need the great physician to perform not only physical surgery but spiritual surgery on my heart.
God, I pray keep me in your hands, I stand naked and undone in your presence, longing to be clothed with your grace, and mended as clay by the potter.
Daniel (db)
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